1. Banksy hits Monkseaton Drive
(News/Whitley Bay)

Controversial street artist Banksy has hit Monkseato Drive's pavements with his unique style of artwork.The artist, whose public artworks have been seen in cities across the world, hit Monkseaton

2. Wheelie bin 'left in right place' shocker
(News in Brief/Whitley Bay)

... was right outside my back gate."   A spokesman for the Council said "We are investigating the matter, until our findings are complete we cannot comment. We do however apologise f...

3. Council Denies That Spanish City Dome 'looks like a tit'
(News in Brief/Whitley Bay)

Whitley Bay District Council has denied that the Spanish City dome resembles a woman's breast. Claims by a BBC North reporter that the nobbly bit on top looks like a nipple were also rebuked. T

4. Monkseaton Drive is world's longest artwork
(News/Whitley Bay)

An artwork on Monkseaton Drive is listed in the new edition of the Guinness Book of Records as officially the world's longest artwork.Since the erection of the artwork 7 months ago, residents have

5. New initiative to reduce carbon footprint this Christmas
(News/Whitley Bay)

Whitley Bay District Council has come up with a new initiative to reduce its carbon footprint this Christmas - by leaving the town's Christmas lights switched off.It is thought that not lighting t

6. Seals at Sea
(News in Brief/Whitley Bay)

...o be frequent visitors to the quayside nightclub, along with Whitley Bay's Deep.  Up until last year they also frequented Blue, but since it changed its name the Deep/Blue/Sea night out is no...

7. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

Beach on which a seal can rest during heavy seas where dog walkers do not think it is their responsibility to herd it back into the sea.

8. Whitley Bay Panto cast unveiled
(News/Whitley Bay)

The deepening financial crisis at the now closed Whitley Bay Playhouse has led to severe budget restrictions on this year's pantomime production of Aladdin.Instead of employing traditional Z-list

9. Writ issued to local newspaper
(News/Whitley Bay)

...in this week's issue the sensationalised, near farcical reporting of trivial local 'news' stories hit new highs.Due to the encroachment upon Whitley Bay Citizen's territory, the Editor...

10. What's on in Whitley Bay guide to be printed on back of postage stamp
(Simply Headlines/Whitley Bay)

11. Huge earthquake causes no discernible damage to Whitley Bay
(Simply Headlines/Whitley Bay)

12. Carter car park for Spanish City
(News/Whitley Bay)

As Gateshead Council starts the regeneration of its town centre by demolishing one of its most famous landmarks, Whitley Bay District Council has seen the perfect solution to two of its longest-runnin

13. Mayor says: Draw line under this
(News in Brief/Whitley Bay)

... line to be drawn under his feud with the Whitley Bay Chamber of Trade over parking permits. However, still seething over the Mayor's comments in the letters page of a rival local newspaper, the C...

14. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

Local cyclist seeks experienced sniper to cull rabbit population on path between Wellfield and Red House Farm estates.

15. A regeneration that is actually taking place...
(Editor's Blog/Whitley Bay)

...ite, and - even though we do say ourselves - some of it was quite good, so have a look around! New stuff will be coming soon, so please spread the word! ...

16. Wanted
(Classified/General)

Wanted: Tasty nutricious Kebab. Preferably cooked in reasonably hygenic conditions with not too many flies. Must taste nice.

17. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

...tley Bay before and after BC (Bloody Cockups) to prove to my kids that it was a nice place once - honestly it was!...

18. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

A councillor who doesn't just want to become Mayor because it pisses the Labour Party off.

19. Wanted
(Classified/General)

New joke urgently needed for local satirical newspaper. Our existing one is now very worn and nearly past its sell-by date. Contact: editor@citizenextra.com

20. Gay/Lesbian
(Classified/General)

Straight male in mid forties seeks good-looking well endowed for friendship and nothing more. Must have past experience with 'toys' and sucking banana-like objects. BOX: 6734529

21. Women seeking men
(Classified/General)

91-year old energetic lady. Still foxy in her old age. Will try anything, including rock climbing. Will do anything for money. I will, honest. BOX: 7957305

22. Men seeking women
(Classified/General)

14 yr old gresy charve seeks Donna for quick **** for the price of a tab. Mustn't mind acne. Lobotomy prefered (but not essential). Apply box 444Cv

23. Request
(Classified/General)

Can anyone tell me the time? My watch is broken.

24. Notice
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

Get your prize pooch's poopoos pickled for posterity. The ideal gift for all dog lovers. Only £26 per movement. Bay Pickling Co, Claremont Gardens.

25. Notice
(Classified/General)

...eally lightens my day knowing I've a lovely cat mess to clean up when I get home. Oh, and the kids just love the toxoplasmosis it's given them!...

26. Lost
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

One virginity. Last seen before Friday night on South Parade. Reward for successful return.

27. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

...and a kebeb. Inadvertently "parked" beside bus-shelter on Ilfracombe Gardens in the early hours of last Sunday Morning. Owner seeks prompt return to avoid necessity to purchase replacements this Sat...

28. Wanted
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

...will pay thousands of pounds for new sand so we don't lose the Seaside Award. Contact: Whitley Bay District Council...

29. Jobs
(Classified/Newcastle)

Radio DJ wanted for work at Metro Radio. Must be irritating/extremely annoying and be unable to tell good jokes.

30. Jobs
(Classified/Whitley Bay)

Vacancy: Head of Planning, Whitley Bay District Council.Would suit complete imbecile with no common sense or stratigic vision (serving council members are encouraged to apply!). £78,000 pa plus