A Whitley Bay resident is in shock today after his wheelie bin was left by refuse collectors in the same place as he put it earlier that day. "Normally I have to wander right up the back lane or swap it back with next door's. I could not believe it today though, there it was right outside my back gate." A spokesman for the Council said "We are investigating the matter, until our findings are complete we cannot comment. We do however apologise for this bit of good service."
Whitley Bay District Council has denied that the Spanish City dome resembles a woman's breast. Claims by a BBC North reporter that the nobbly bit on top looks like a nipple were also rebuked. The Council has, however, refused to comment on allegations that the Lighthouse looks like a penis.
A number of seals have been seen sleeping rough on Whitley Bay beach after a heavy night out at Sea. The seals are said to be frequent visitors to the quayside nightclub, along with Whitley Bay's Deep. Up until last year they also frequented Blue, but since it changed its name the Deep/Blue/Sea night out is no longer an option. Local residents, fed up with the noise the seals make on chucking out time, have sent the seals packing by prodding them with sticks and getting their dogs to chase them back into the sea.
Mayor Harris Johnson has called for a line to be drawn under his feud with the Whitley Bay Chamber of Trade over parking permits. However, still seething over the Mayor's comments in the letters page of a rival local newspaper, the Chamber Chairman has called for reports on the feud to be emboldened and italicised. "Drawing a line under it just isn't enough," he said.
A police officer suffered head injuries after having a fruit bowl smashed over his head while attending a domestic dispute in Monkseaton. PC Peeler claims his assailant 'just went bananas.' A number of apples and oranges also suffered severe bruising during the incident.
Unconfirmed reports are just coming in that a tourist has been spotted near the sea-front at Whitley Bay. If confirmed, this will come as a bitter blow to Whitley Bay District Council officials who had declared the town Tourist Free following the severe measures introduced as a result of the unprecedented outbreak earlier this year. Residents and local businesses are being urged to remain calm.
A WEB SITE has been criticised by Council chiefs for listing places youngsters can go for under-age drinking in Whitley Bay. Mayor Harris Johnson has condemned the site saying, "This web site expresses exactly the kind of image of Whitley Bay we are trying to avoid. We don't want it to be known there are actually attractions for youngsters in Whitley Bay."
Mrs Ethel Simpleton of 16 Muck Road isn't feeling too well. She got a bit of a sore bottom on Tuesday and hasn't felt the same since. And her Gas bill just came through the post. And do you know how much it was? £22. Disgusting, that's what I call it.
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